DelMarVa FCA

A Little FAITH can move a mountain, if you and Doubtin’!

I have participated in athletics since I was 5 years old until April of 2009 when I finished my final softball season ever at Eastern Mennonite University. Being an athlete I felt that I had a pretty good idea about what a loss was. Going into the Playoffs as the 7th seed and making our way up to the Championship game; knocking off the 3rd, 4th and 2nd ranked teams and then loosing the final game hurt, what a way to finish a season, a career, I thought I FELT that loss.

However, I had never felt a true loss until the day that I lost my mom to her battle against cancer on September 3, 2009. After almost a year and a half of remission, then another year of her new diagnosis of bone cancer I LOST my mom. Nothing has ever hurt so bad; no softball game, no injury, no fight with a boyfriend, no pain in the world had ever been as intense as when I had to say goodbye to my mommy.

The day of her passing our house was swarmed with what everyone in my hometown calls “My Jesus People”. Women from Tennessee, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, New York, and all over Virginia invaded my house. I mean every room you walked in there was a group of girls sitting, talking, and laughing.

These however were not just women, they were Women of GOD!! These are the kind of women that Satan cringes at, the kind of women who wake up with fire and love of the Lord in their hearts so intense that you can see it in their everyday actions. As they began to arrive I felt a sense of comfort from them, not because I was physically hugged (which I was often) but because I felt my Heavenly Father in my heart speaking to me. He was showing me that although He could not physically embrace me to tell me that things were going to be ok and that there was a purpose for this terrible tragedy, He sent people who could.

One conversation I had through all of this was with a Woman of God who is so near and dear to my heart. Mrs. Kris Shonewolf was my host mother while I was in Delaware this summer for my internship. Randy and Melissa had prayed about where to place me and where God wanted me and they were obedient and I could not have been more happy and blessed by any other family. Ms. Kris came up to me with tears in her eyes at my mom’s funeral and said “God can use this situation and He will. It hurts him to see this, He is hurting for you and your family.” She gave me a verse from Psalms 34 verse 18 that states “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” You mean the maker of all things is hurting like I am? He is sad and he is broken because of this? YES!

Our God is compassionate and caring and He loves us so much, He does not want us to hurt. As she said this I cried, for the first time since my mommy had passed away. That night I had a dream about Jesus and the Crucifixion. I saw him dying and I saw his tears and I saw his sadness and God spoke to me and said “I have been through everything you have, and I am here!” Without my “Jesus People”, the ones God placed in my life and without him I would never be able to make it. Faith is what brings us closer to our maker!! Without faith in our God we have nothing!!